Things I have realised this week:
- I CAN do it myself – it’s just a lot bloody easier and nicer with F here.
- I am really proud of myself. Not only have I kept O alive and happy, I have managed to give her her vitamin drops every evening, break my phone and get it fixed, do the washing up every night, water the plants and keep THEM alive and happy too and do two loads of washing, change the bed sheets (after she shat all over them). Admittedly, the final two I was able to do when my best friend Jo came over and watched O while I darted about. She actually helped me put the duvet cover on too and didn’t judge me when she saw the fake tan (and other questionable) stains.
- I’ve got amazing friends who wanted to come and help/check on me. This includes another friend’s mum, who popped in for a cup of tea and gave me some nice shower gel as a treat. She did gasp in horror when she saw my bare fridge (I only bought the ESSENTIALS (incl avocado) from M&S because I couldn’t be bothered to do a big shop- a job for one of us to do when F gets back today).
- I LOVE spending time alone with O. I honestly thought that this week, without any help would be almost impossible. DEFINITELY impossible to get through without crying at least once… buuuuut NO TEARS. I have had an amazing time, and feel SO much better moving forward than I did beforehand. I’m proud of how I did menial household tasks and know that F, my mum and friends are too- imagine if I did something ACTUALLY amazing..!
- While F was away, I personalised two t-shirts (one for me, one for him) with an O sewed on in flowery fabric- our baby O t-shirts. I hope he likes it. He also has a RAD DAD t-shirt from Black & Beech waiting for him, which I hope will make up for the Selfish Mother ‘Father Inc’ t shirt that got sprayed with blood in Berlin (see earlier post…)
- This week was potentially the worst week F could have gone away for a number of reasons – the heat, the fact that it was O’s first jabs (I’m still scarred) AND the fact that my mum and a few of my closest friends are away at Glastonbury (plus that O is only 8/9 weeks old) BUT WE SURVIVED. I have learnt a lot about myself and O has been soooo well behaved- almost as if she knows I needed her to be.
- Mostly I am just so excited to have him home and our little family unit back together again.